The Oscars

22 01 2009

The Oscar nominees came out today. While for the most part I’m not surprised or upset by the choices, I am horrified that The Dark Knight was snubbed for best picture. When pieces of crap like Titanic and Chicago can win, but The Dark Knight is locked out of contention it makes the Oscars look like the Grammy’s or the Emmy’s.

Essentially I believe the Academy has lost all the credibility it built up with last year’s win for No Country for Old Men.

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Actress Grudge Match

10 05 2008

A reference in my last post made me realize that I have a private, strange battle between two actresses going on in my head. For one of these actresses I can almost guarantee I will hate her movies, regardless of what they are. For the other, I can almost guarantee I will heartily enjoy her films, even if only for camp factor. Who are these mystery actresses? Which one do I like? Which one makes my skin crawl? Julia Roberts and Kirstie Alley. Do you want to take a guess? The only hint I will give is that it applies to movies only and one is in one of my favorite movies of all time while the other is in one of my most hated… go ahead, talk amongst yourselves, I’ll just go grab a snack and hang out with the Grumpy Jr.

So, are you ready for the answer?

I hate Julia Roberts. Now, you might be asking yourself how America’s Sweetheart could be pure box office poison for me? Well, beyond the horrid chick flicks she’s stared in that make prostitution look like a fine, pleasant profession, she’s made two movies in particular that are worthy of public execution.

The first movie is proof of my only great movie theory… That Nick Nolte is a blank conduit for whatever script he gets. Give him the best script in the world and he’ll amaze you. Give him a bad script and you’ll wish the VC were shoving bamboo under your fingernails. This movie is I Love Trouble. We’re supposed to believe that a 20-something Roberts, writing for some local newspaper, would get into madcap adventures and then fall in love with a 273 year old Nolte. Part of my bitterness about this movie is that when I saw it (and yes, it was in the theatre I’m ashamed to admit), we had to go to this movie instead of True Lies because of an idiotic stoner loser who had to smoke just a little more and didn’t want the violence of an action movie. Of course, girls were involved so my best friend and I didn’t tell them all to go to hell. We went to see the movie.
The other film Julia Roberts made that stands out as pure shit in my head is My Best Friend’s Wedding. The crime against humanity put Roberts in the role of well, the best friend who tried to destroy the happiness of all around her. She was like Godzilla with red hair, screaming and knocking all kinds of things down while innocent bystanders could only look on in awe and point. What’s worse is that it has opened the door for the inverse Made of Shit Honor┬áto be developed and unleashed upon us; much like Godzilla allowed for Mothra or some other horrible monster.

Kirstie Alley on the other hand, has created two of the finest movies ever. The first is a movie that can be watched over and over, on both a serious and sarcastic basis. This film is Ricardo Monteblan’s finest hour (though his role in the Planet of the Apes series could be argued)… it is Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Need I say more? Kirk, Khan, Alley as a Vulcan. Ships fighting, Shakespearean quotes, Sulu, weird ear worms that gave me nightmares. In one word this movie is pure AWESOMENESS!

But Alley has more than Sci-Fi in her madskillz. She has made one of the most under rated movies of our time. A movie that has drama, comedy, a ragtag group of teenagers, and a future cast member of Melrose Place. That movie? Carl Reiner’s Summerschool.

Beyond that, Alley has been in the fine Look Who Won’t Shut Up Who’s Talking Series, Cheers, and offered us the drama of watching her weight change in television commercials.

In this grudge match, Kirstie Alley wins by a bodyslam!





Happy Mother’s Day

10 05 2008

Before I say anything about anything this week, Happy Mother’s Day to Shannon, your Junior Grumpy Future Comic Book Nerdloves you!

I’ve got to start this post with Comics. While my pile has been growing and growing and I’m WAY behind on comments, Marvel’s Secret Invasionhas been fantastic. The two issues they’ve released have been the kind of comics I have always loved to read; full of surprise and history and action. The tie-ins have been pretty awesome too. Here are a few reviews to check out:

I have not seen Iron Man yet (babies will do that) but here is some news about the thor movie.

The AV Club has noticed Ryan Adams and his blog.

The Philadelphia sports-loving Bizzaro Jerry has put up his weekly Lost post. It’s good stuff, which can be confirmed by Shannon’s out-loud laughter and praise while reading from her perch on the couch. His Bizzaro Jerry status (or mine depending on which universe you live in) can be confirmed somewhat with his Speed Racer post. I’m kind of happy to see this movie fail, the commercials make it look worse than I Love Trouble.

Electricty & Lust has released its links of most anticipated summer movies. Not sure why Hollywood has redone Short Circuit (this time without this week’s Howard Stern highlight – The Incredibly Hung Steve Guttenberg) but I can agree with the other links. There’s also some good stuff on Electricity & Lust’s Linkemonypost.

We finished HBO’s In Treatment and I have to say that, much like life, the last episode was full of sound and fury, yadda yadda yadda. It was a really interesting nine week experiment in television endurance and I wonder if HBO will try another season of it. Like life, the series showed how messed up people are without making it all tidy or giving us much of a resolution.

I’m reading Franzen’s The Corrections and so far it’s great stuff. I still have a mountain of New Yorkers and comic books to climb.





Oscars and the State of Movies

13 02 2008

I’ve been hearing a lot of people say they’re not excited by this year’s Oscars. Even yellow journalists CNN have jumped on the bandwagon. The problem is that apparently people aren’t interested in No Country for Old Men or There Will be Blood. They’re both too bloody, too violent, too bleak, too serious, etc. I think if there is a problem it’s with the movie going public. Too many movies of late seem to be throw away fillers. It’s like the studios think, we have to put something on the screen just to keep seats filled. Let’s see, this year we’ve had box office poison such as One Missed Call, Fool’s Gold, Jumper, 27 Dresses, Welcome Home Roscoe Jennings… Not one of them is worthy of being remembered in 2009 let alone winning anything. Personally, I’m very excited that two movies I thought were fantastic are up for best picture. I’m even more excited that I don’t know who I want to win!

There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men make the audience think and feel. What’s wrong with that? These are two films that will hold up with the passage of time, that are worthy of watching over and over again. Isn’t it time that we, as the movie going public, start to demand quality on a consistent basis? Movies don’t need to be dumbed down. It seems like Juno or Little Miss Sunshine or even Superbad are movies worth making. We don’t need more vapid, mindless crap. We don’t need Definitely, Maybe or 27 Dresses. And we don’t need to start dumbing down the movies nominated for the Oscars just because Baby Boomers and their Gen Y kids don’t like them.





Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together

12 02 2008

The Coen Brothers seem to be on board to produce a film version of Michael Chabon’s Yiddish Policeman’s Union. This was a very good book with the potential to be an entertaining and interesting movie. For you comic book fans, I’d heartily endorse another of Chabon’s books, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay. It’s a great story set in the Golden Age and Silver Age of Comics. It’s a great read and a difficult book to put down.